I recently attended a webinar hosted by Jean Hailes for Women’s Health and the Butterfly Foundation, exploring a topic that I know impacts so many women – body image and eating disorders in midlife.
It was such an eye-opening session. So many of the challenges women experience through perimenopause and menopause – the frustration with body changes, the self-criticism, the sense of losing control – are part of a much bigger picture. At midlife we have decades of ‘stuff’ that makes up who we are and a lot of it does not have to do with body positivity.
I have to say, my own body changes and weight gain post-menopause have been hard to come to terms with. When I entered perimenopause, I actually felt I looked better physically than ever before – and it was extremely confronting to suddenly have a body that felt like it was changing overnight. I didn’t seem to have any control over it. It definitely triggered some of my old eating disorder thoughts, and it took a lot of conscious effort not to slip back into that unhealthy relationship with food and exercise again.
Weight Gain and Body Changes – What’s Really Happening
One of my biggest takeaways from the session was how common weight gain is during the menopausal years, and how misunderstood it remains.
On average, women gain around 0.5 kg per year between 45 and 55.
This is mostly due to ageing and lifestyle factors – reduced activity, changes in sleep and mood, and loss of lean muscle. Menopause itself doesn’t cause weight gain, but it does shift body composition – less muscle, more fat – particularly around the stomach.
(I’ll note here that I actually gained weight during Ironman training – when I was doing a lot of exercise! This is where things can become really nuanced. Overexercising can over stress the body, disrupt hormones and backfire. The real message here is about finding balance – not too little, not too much.)
For many women, these changes can feel confronting, especially after years of maintaining a particular body type or fitness level.
Personally, not being able to fit into clothes I’d worn for 25 years really threw me. I found myself retreating, even avoiding going out because I literally couldn’t squeeze into my clothes and I hated the way I looked. And, I didn’t want to buy a larger size. I told myself it was temporary, that I’d “get back” to my usual shape soon.
It took time (years in fact) to let go – to release the idea of what my body should look like, and start to reinvent my style instead. Buying new clothes that fit my body now was actually quite a powerful act of acceptance.
One quote shared during the session captured this perfectly:
“Menopause especially and getting older has made me feel dissatisfied with my body. One day you look in the mirror and see your body shape changing before your very eyes.”
That’s exactly how I felt – and it’s something I hear from so many other women too.
It highlights that sudden disconnect between how we feel inside and what we see reflected back.
The Hidden Reality: Eating Disorders in Midlife
What shocked me most were the statistics shared by the Butterfly Foundation:
- Almost 1 in 4 people with an eating disorder in Australia are between 40 and 59.
- Many women have lived with disordered eating for decades without a diagnosis.
- Others develop it for the first time in adulthood, while some experience a recurrence triggered by menopause, stress, or life transitions.
And it’s not just about food. The emotional impact is significant:
- 56% of women report body dissatisfaction during perimenopause or menopause.
- 1 in 10 avoid intimacy or closeness due to how they feel about their bodies.
- Over 13% of peri/menopausal women avoid being photographed or doing activities that involve being in a swimsuit.
That’s a lot of women withdrawing from joy, connection and living their best life – often silently.
Why This Happens
The speakers talked about how diet culture, ageism, and perfectionism have conditioned generations of women to link self-worth with appearance.
After decades of striving to stay lean, youthful and in control, the natural changes of midlife can feel like failure – when in fact, it’s completely normal for our bodies to evolve and change throughout our life.
Contributing factors include:
- A lifetime of dieting and weight suppression
- High stress and anxiety around ageing
- A culture that glorifies youth and thinness
- The ongoing impact of diet culture – where restriction is normalised
- Lack of visible, confident role models of vibrant ageing
Reframing Midlife
What I loved most about this discussion was the reminder that there’s nothing wrong with you if your body feels and looks different. In fact, it’s normal.
When we understand what’s happening and bring compassion instead of criticism, everything changes – not just how we look, but how we feel.
These experiences now shape the work I do as a health coach with women over 50 – helping them rebuild energy, confidence and connection with their bodies as they step into their Power Era.
Instead of seeing midlife as a time of decline, it’s an opportunity to reconnect with your body, to look at things a little differently and to redefine what thriving looks like for you.
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or eating behaviours in midlife, please know that support is available.
The Butterfly Foundation offers free, confidential help via their Helpline on 1800 33 4673 or at butterfly.org.au.
Shine Bright
Tania